When We're No Longer Here - Chapter 16
Oct. 5th, 2010 02:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zeon_avalantheChapter16 - Behind That Rusty Old Book
Author : rei *me*
Rating : pg
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that HSJ belong to JE. .sadly. .T_T
Summary : Imagine what will happen, if your presence are no longer exist. Imagine what will hapen, if you're no longer known by any. Imagine what will happen, if the one you can count on is only, you. [I'm suck even at summaries, I know. .T_T]
Author's note : i know.. u may kill me after i finished all my updates.. u'll know when to.. but for now, just read the story and let me know what u think.. *whacked*
When We’re No Longer Here – Chapter 16 – Behind That Rusty Old Book
Ryosuke was bored. Badly. He wished that he has anything better to do, but nothing can seemed to attract his interest. Well, there are actually some, but there’s no way the others will let him do. Ever since they started to live together, it seemed that the rest of JUMP members had been like his bodyguards or something like that.
“Maybe I’ll just tour around the house.” He mumbles to himself as he gets up from his bed and headed outside.
No one is home right now. Thanks to him who had managed to coax them all into taking some sunshine, and getting the younger boys back to class. But eventhough he said that he’ll be fine alone, he actually feels a bit jealous toward them.
“Why can’t I go out like them too.” He sighs deeply.
Unconsciously, his feet brought him inside the library and to one of the big shelves. Learning from his previous experiences here, he decided that there weren’t any interesting books here. All of them were about scientific and medical fields books. He could just read them out of boresome, but then again, he knew he won’t understand at all.
But, he decided that it was because he has nothing else to do, he slowly walks through the shelves while scanning each and every books placed neatly on them. Out of sudden, when his mind were occupied by how complicated even the title of the books like, a small ‘thump’ could be heard from the end of the shelf he’s in.
Narrowing his eyes, he quietly walk toward the sound, all the while trying to figure out what had caused it. As he got nearer, he could see a small book, different from the other books, since this one is thin and looked more as a journal than an overly thick textbook, lying on the floor. He hesitantly pick the book up and wipe the dust on it away. Looking around for any possible cause which made the book fell, he decided that it was probably a rat or something. Shuddering at the thought, he quickly runs toward the small couch just beside the window at the other side of the small library.
He’s aware that somehow, his heart beats faster as he proceeded to open the book, but he ignores that, concluding that he’s just too excited to get to know what’s inside the book. He sits at the couch and take a deep breath before finally, he carefully open up the black cover.
From Okaa-san,
To Ki-chan
May 9, 2006
Reading the first few words written there had somehow make Ryosuke shivers. Then re-reading the lines, he just realize that the date written was the day of his birthday. Frowning, he choose to continue reading.
May 9, 2006
Dear journal, well I’d prefer a journal rather than a diary as Okaa-san mentioned. Diaries are for girls, and I don’t want to be called a girl. Enough of people made fun of me by my girlish feature.. Anyway, this is the first entry in this journal, which Okaa-san just gave me for my 13th birthday ! Yes, today is my birthday, and I cannot wish for more to spend my birthday with my families. Even Otou-san took a break from his works and Onee-san was there too even though she was busy with her college. And I was so happy to say the least ! Ah ! Okaa-san is calling me. We’re about to go to have a dinner at my favourite restaurant ! Well, see you !
‘Ah, so this was Kite-kun’s journal I think. I never knew that we shared the same birthday.’ Thought Ryosuke as he opens the next few pages which mostly consist about the days the writer gone through.
September 17, 2006
Dear journal, I felt so happy today because I passed as a Johnny’s ! It was so hard to get in there and I won’t get that hardworking come to a waste. I’ll work hard from now on too, ne ! Anyway, I met someone really nice today. He’s my very first friend at Jimusho and he’s so kind to me. His name is Yamada Ryosuke and what I like from him the most is his chubby-cheeks ! I really want to pinch them but it would be rude of me~ Anyway, I’m tired and want to go to sleep already. Ja ne~
Bits of memories rush through Ryosuke’s head. The familiar face…
May 9, 2007
Dear journal, I couldn’t believe this.Me and Yamada-kun actually shared the same birthday ! I know it when Nakajima-kun, Morimoto-kun and the other juniors gave him a surprise birthday celebration. He was so afraid of darkness and they locked him inside the unused room which lamp is broken. I felt pity for him and tried to asked them to release him already, but they won’t listen. So I just waited there along with the other juniors. We could hear him screaming, crying, and even kicking around. The other juniors were giggling but I couldn’t. I was worried. What if something happened there ? After about an hour or so, they finally unlocked the door. I was nearly shrieked when we saw him on the ground hugging himself tight with an unusually pale face and a blank yet terrified look. Traces of tears could be seen all over his face. He seemed to be too scared since he didn’t even recognized us coming. I was about to rush toward him but Nakajima-kun beated me. He worriedly helped Yamada-kun stood up and lead him out of the room. Really, if he’s Yamada-kun’s bestfriend, then he should’ve known better than to locked him in that kind of place. Yamada-kun’s face kept blank eventhough he was no longer inside that room and it made me worry more. Only after they brought in the cake did he brought out of his trance. But just like the incident before never happened, he easily forgave them and returned to his old self. He’s really nice ne~ If it was me, I won’t talk to them ever again. Even if they bribed me with the world.
Ryosuke shivered at the memory. He remembered that day like it just happened yesterday. He was upset of course, but knowing the reason behind that tragedy, he just let it go. He was one of that naughty kids too. So maybe that was on of his lesson. But aside from it, he never knew that Kite-kun was so concerned about him. A smile formed as he imagining the face of that person.
May 10, 2007
I’m pissed today ! No, it wasn’t because I got bullied or someone got into my way. It was simply because Yamada-kun wasn’t coming for practice today, and Nakajima-kun just said that he was sick so he couldn’t come. At first I didn’t really mind it, but when I got home and tell my families about the absence of Yamada-kun at today’s practice, Otou-san suddenly commented that there was a boy named Yamada whom got admitted this morning. I asked him about how he looked like and my suspicions proved right as he told me about the boy’s looks. I asked him what was wrong with Yamada-kun and Otou-san told me that he was sent there after he collapsed when having breakfast with his families. Otou-san said that he collapsed due to stress he felt or because of some sort of traumatic experience occurred to him lately. I practically snapped. Because of those bunch of stupid kids, Yamada-kun had to suffered like this ! I’ll be more than willing to teach them a lesson or two. But, given to Yamada-kun’s nature, he probably won’t like it, so I’ll just stay. Just watch if any of them attempted to repeat their stupidity on Yamada-kun again. Hmm, I wonder why I cared about Yamada-kun a lot. Maybe because we shared the same birthday ? Or was it because he was the first friend I met in Jimusho ? Ah, maybe it was just his kindness and friendliness. Any other way, he’s like a younger brother to me. Eventhough he’s only a year younger than me, but his cute and healing presence had brought me into a worry wart older brother.
Ryosuke blush a bit at this. He never knew that Kite-kun was cared about him so much. And to know that the older boy was thought of him as his younger brother. A warmth feeling engulfed his heart as he re-read those last few words written. With a silly grin on his face, he open the next few pages.
May 24, 2007
Dear journal, I couldn’t believe it. When Onee-san came home and told me that horrible news, I just couldn’t believe it. There’s no way that Okaa-san had… No, it wasn’t true. Onee-san was probably just playing tricks on me. But, why did my heart clenched so tightly it hurts just to breath ?
A pang stab Ryosuke’s heart as he read that. It must be times when Kite-kun’s mother passed away. And at the same time, also the beginning of his living hell.
June 19, 2007
Dear journal, Otou-san just did it again. It hurts, it hurts so much to be the receiving ends of those kicks and punches. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone else about this. I always lied to Onee-san when she asked me where I got those bruises. I knew she smelled something fishy, but as long as she didn’t know the whole truth, I felt relieved. I understand how Otou-san felt. He was just grieving about Okaa-san’s death and still couldn’t accepted it. Well, I myself haven’t get over with it yet either anyway. I just wish that someday, Otou-san will learn how to accept this bitter truth. Just like myself.
Ryosuke flinch at the entry. He knows that since this on, there will be more entries with more violence written.
August 10, 2007
Dear journal, it’s getting rare for me to write here. Well, the Jimusho is tiring, and Otou-san hasn’t stopped from his grieving yet. I’m getting used with his daily beatings now. Anyway, today is Nakajima-kun’s birthday and I could see how bright Yamada-kun’s smile was. He made a special cake for Nakajima-kun, and it seemed like his satisfied face when he ate the cake was the source of Yamada-kun’s happiness today. I couldn’t helped but smiling at this. Somehow, seeing him so content was enough to erase the pain I felt, both physically and mentally. Now I looked like a girl who is in love. Hahahaha. Anyway, I hope we will stay close forever. As friends that is.
Ryosuke smile. He’s glad to know that he could brought him a little bit of happiness in the past.
August 30, 2007
Dear journal, I couldn’t take it anymore. Otou-san had gone too far. He took a knife and almost stabbing me with that. Just before he could do that, I managed to got out of his grasp. Now I’m here, locking myself inside my room, waiting for Onee-san to come home. Because somehow, if Onee-san is around, Otou-san will returned to the kind man we used to know.
Ryosuke widen his eyes at this. Did Touyama-san just trying to killed his own son ? It was unbelievable.
September 16, 2007
I heard from one of the senpai that a new group will be formed. I wonder which group was that. I hope I could be at the same group with Yamada-kun, but he’s a member of Hey! Say! 7 already. Well, there’s always a possibility that the group will be changed right ?
Ryosuke just frown as he continue to open the few last pages.
September 24, 2007
Dear journal, as I wished before, Hey! Say! 7 formation was changed. It’s just, I’m still out of the picture. It was changed into Hey! Say! JUMP which now consist 10 person. But yeah, I’m not one of them. It seemed impossible for someone like me to be placed at the same group with Yamada-kun. And somehow that thoughts made me more frustrated each and everyday. Was Otou-san started to rubbed on me ? I don’t know.
His frown grow deeper at that.
October 18, 2007
Dear journal, I wanted to get out of that place ! There’s no other reason for me to stay at Jimusho. Yamada-kun, along with Hey! Say! JUMP will be debuted soon. They’re filming their first PV right now. And it pissed me of ! Yamada-kun had started to make rift between us. We rarely greet each other again right now, and it hurts me. But as much as I wanted to hate him, I can’t. I guess I grew too fond with him already… If only I let Otou-san stabbed me that time, than maybe I won’t feel this kind of jealousy.
A tear and a pang in the heart. Ryosuke could feel the loneliness that Kite-kun felt.
November 14, 2007
That’s it. Their new official PV released today. And I will officially resigned from this place. I don’t care anymore. I couldn’t even felt the pain when my father abused me a moments ago. My life is end here. And all because of him…
More tears fell.
“I’m sorry…” Ryosuke could only mumble to himself as he open the last entry.
November 22, 2007
I’ve decided. My life was no longer has a mean. I could no longer pursue my dream. Okaa-san was no longer here. Otou-san didn’t love me anymore. And Onee-san was rarely home for me either. I’ll just end this meaningless life of mine. No one will even felt sad about my lost anyway. Maybe I’ll burn the house for a little revenge as well ? Who knows.
And after that, there was no other entries written. Only a few rips from the paper. Perhaps used to wrote Kite-kun’s last words. After reading the last entry, Ryosuke started to sob loudly. He couldn’t helped but shuddered at the heartless words written on the paper.
“Kite-kun must had been so depressed. If only I was more aware of his presence, than perhaps his life wouldn’t ended that way.” He whispers between his sobs. “It was my fault…” And he continues crying until his eyes were red and puffy. And his nose is stuffy. Too exhausted after the cry, he fell asleep at the couch.
“Sleep well, Yamada-kun.”
~~~~~tbc
woow.. i got spooked just by writing this out~
ohh, comments are LUV okay~
^o^
Author : rei *me*
Rating : pg
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that HSJ belong to JE. .sadly. .T_T
Summary : Imagine what will happen, if your presence are no longer exist. Imagine what will hapen, if you're no longer known by any. Imagine what will happen, if the one you can count on is only, you. [I'm suck even at summaries, I know. .T_T]
Author's note : i know.. u may kill me after i finished all my updates.. u'll know when to.. but for now, just read the story and let me know what u think.. *whacked*
When We’re No Longer Here – Chapter 16 – Behind That Rusty Old Book
Ryosuke was bored. Badly. He wished that he has anything better to do, but nothing can seemed to attract his interest. Well, there are actually some, but there’s no way the others will let him do. Ever since they started to live together, it seemed that the rest of JUMP members had been like his bodyguards or something like that.
“Maybe I’ll just tour around the house.” He mumbles to himself as he gets up from his bed and headed outside.
No one is home right now. Thanks to him who had managed to coax them all into taking some sunshine, and getting the younger boys back to class. But eventhough he said that he’ll be fine alone, he actually feels a bit jealous toward them.
“Why can’t I go out like them too.” He sighs deeply.
Unconsciously, his feet brought him inside the library and to one of the big shelves. Learning from his previous experiences here, he decided that there weren’t any interesting books here. All of them were about scientific and medical fields books. He could just read them out of boresome, but then again, he knew he won’t understand at all.
But, he decided that it was because he has nothing else to do, he slowly walks through the shelves while scanning each and every books placed neatly on them. Out of sudden, when his mind were occupied by how complicated even the title of the books like, a small ‘thump’ could be heard from the end of the shelf he’s in.
Narrowing his eyes, he quietly walk toward the sound, all the while trying to figure out what had caused it. As he got nearer, he could see a small book, different from the other books, since this one is thin and looked more as a journal than an overly thick textbook, lying on the floor. He hesitantly pick the book up and wipe the dust on it away. Looking around for any possible cause which made the book fell, he decided that it was probably a rat or something. Shuddering at the thought, he quickly runs toward the small couch just beside the window at the other side of the small library.
He’s aware that somehow, his heart beats faster as he proceeded to open the book, but he ignores that, concluding that he’s just too excited to get to know what’s inside the book. He sits at the couch and take a deep breath before finally, he carefully open up the black cover.
From Okaa-san,
To Ki-chan
May 9, 2006
Reading the first few words written there had somehow make Ryosuke shivers. Then re-reading the lines, he just realize that the date written was the day of his birthday. Frowning, he choose to continue reading.
May 9, 2006
Dear journal, well I’d prefer a journal rather than a diary as Okaa-san mentioned. Diaries are for girls, and I don’t want to be called a girl. Enough of people made fun of me by my girlish feature.. Anyway, this is the first entry in this journal, which Okaa-san just gave me for my 13th birthday ! Yes, today is my birthday, and I cannot wish for more to spend my birthday with my families. Even Otou-san took a break from his works and Onee-san was there too even though she was busy with her college. And I was so happy to say the least ! Ah ! Okaa-san is calling me. We’re about to go to have a dinner at my favourite restaurant ! Well, see you !
‘Ah, so this was Kite-kun’s journal I think. I never knew that we shared the same birthday.’ Thought Ryosuke as he opens the next few pages which mostly consist about the days the writer gone through.
September 17, 2006
Dear journal, I felt so happy today because I passed as a Johnny’s ! It was so hard to get in there and I won’t get that hardworking come to a waste. I’ll work hard from now on too, ne ! Anyway, I met someone really nice today. He’s my very first friend at Jimusho and he’s so kind to me. His name is Yamada Ryosuke and what I like from him the most is his chubby-cheeks ! I really want to pinch them but it would be rude of me~ Anyway, I’m tired and want to go to sleep already. Ja ne~
Bits of memories rush through Ryosuke’s head. The familiar face…
May 9, 2007
Dear journal, I couldn’t believe this.Me and Yamada-kun actually shared the same birthday ! I know it when Nakajima-kun, Morimoto-kun and the other juniors gave him a surprise birthday celebration. He was so afraid of darkness and they locked him inside the unused room which lamp is broken. I felt pity for him and tried to asked them to release him already, but they won’t listen. So I just waited there along with the other juniors. We could hear him screaming, crying, and even kicking around. The other juniors were giggling but I couldn’t. I was worried. What if something happened there ? After about an hour or so, they finally unlocked the door. I was nearly shrieked when we saw him on the ground hugging himself tight with an unusually pale face and a blank yet terrified look. Traces of tears could be seen all over his face. He seemed to be too scared since he didn’t even recognized us coming. I was about to rush toward him but Nakajima-kun beated me. He worriedly helped Yamada-kun stood up and lead him out of the room. Really, if he’s Yamada-kun’s bestfriend, then he should’ve known better than to locked him in that kind of place. Yamada-kun’s face kept blank eventhough he was no longer inside that room and it made me worry more. Only after they brought in the cake did he brought out of his trance. But just like the incident before never happened, he easily forgave them and returned to his old self. He’s really nice ne~ If it was me, I won’t talk to them ever again. Even if they bribed me with the world.
Ryosuke shivered at the memory. He remembered that day like it just happened yesterday. He was upset of course, but knowing the reason behind that tragedy, he just let it go. He was one of that naughty kids too. So maybe that was on of his lesson. But aside from it, he never knew that Kite-kun was so concerned about him. A smile formed as he imagining the face of that person.
May 10, 2007
I’m pissed today ! No, it wasn’t because I got bullied or someone got into my way. It was simply because Yamada-kun wasn’t coming for practice today, and Nakajima-kun just said that he was sick so he couldn’t come. At first I didn’t really mind it, but when I got home and tell my families about the absence of Yamada-kun at today’s practice, Otou-san suddenly commented that there was a boy named Yamada whom got admitted this morning. I asked him about how he looked like and my suspicions proved right as he told me about the boy’s looks. I asked him what was wrong with Yamada-kun and Otou-san told me that he was sent there after he collapsed when having breakfast with his families. Otou-san said that he collapsed due to stress he felt or because of some sort of traumatic experience occurred to him lately. I practically snapped. Because of those bunch of stupid kids, Yamada-kun had to suffered like this ! I’ll be more than willing to teach them a lesson or two. But, given to Yamada-kun’s nature, he probably won’t like it, so I’ll just stay. Just watch if any of them attempted to repeat their stupidity on Yamada-kun again. Hmm, I wonder why I cared about Yamada-kun a lot. Maybe because we shared the same birthday ? Or was it because he was the first friend I met in Jimusho ? Ah, maybe it was just his kindness and friendliness. Any other way, he’s like a younger brother to me. Eventhough he’s only a year younger than me, but his cute and healing presence had brought me into a worry wart older brother.
Ryosuke blush a bit at this. He never knew that Kite-kun was cared about him so much. And to know that the older boy was thought of him as his younger brother. A warmth feeling engulfed his heart as he re-read those last few words written. With a silly grin on his face, he open the next few pages.
May 24, 2007
Dear journal, I couldn’t believe it. When Onee-san came home and told me that horrible news, I just couldn’t believe it. There’s no way that Okaa-san had… No, it wasn’t true. Onee-san was probably just playing tricks on me. But, why did my heart clenched so tightly it hurts just to breath ?
A pang stab Ryosuke’s heart as he read that. It must be times when Kite-kun’s mother passed away. And at the same time, also the beginning of his living hell.
June 19, 2007
Dear journal, Otou-san just did it again. It hurts, it hurts so much to be the receiving ends of those kicks and punches. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone else about this. I always lied to Onee-san when she asked me where I got those bruises. I knew she smelled something fishy, but as long as she didn’t know the whole truth, I felt relieved. I understand how Otou-san felt. He was just grieving about Okaa-san’s death and still couldn’t accepted it. Well, I myself haven’t get over with it yet either anyway. I just wish that someday, Otou-san will learn how to accept this bitter truth. Just like myself.
Ryosuke flinch at the entry. He knows that since this on, there will be more entries with more violence written.
August 10, 2007
Dear journal, it’s getting rare for me to write here. Well, the Jimusho is tiring, and Otou-san hasn’t stopped from his grieving yet. I’m getting used with his daily beatings now. Anyway, today is Nakajima-kun’s birthday and I could see how bright Yamada-kun’s smile was. He made a special cake for Nakajima-kun, and it seemed like his satisfied face when he ate the cake was the source of Yamada-kun’s happiness today. I couldn’t helped but smiling at this. Somehow, seeing him so content was enough to erase the pain I felt, both physically and mentally. Now I looked like a girl who is in love. Hahahaha. Anyway, I hope we will stay close forever. As friends that is.
Ryosuke smile. He’s glad to know that he could brought him a little bit of happiness in the past.
August 30, 2007
Dear journal, I couldn’t take it anymore. Otou-san had gone too far. He took a knife and almost stabbing me with that. Just before he could do that, I managed to got out of his grasp. Now I’m here, locking myself inside my room, waiting for Onee-san to come home. Because somehow, if Onee-san is around, Otou-san will returned to the kind man we used to know.
Ryosuke widen his eyes at this. Did Touyama-san just trying to killed his own son ? It was unbelievable.
September 16, 2007
I heard from one of the senpai that a new group will be formed. I wonder which group was that. I hope I could be at the same group with Yamada-kun, but he’s a member of Hey! Say! 7 already. Well, there’s always a possibility that the group will be changed right ?
Ryosuke just frown as he continue to open the few last pages.
September 24, 2007
Dear journal, as I wished before, Hey! Say! 7 formation was changed. It’s just, I’m still out of the picture. It was changed into Hey! Say! JUMP which now consist 10 person. But yeah, I’m not one of them. It seemed impossible for someone like me to be placed at the same group with Yamada-kun. And somehow that thoughts made me more frustrated each and everyday. Was Otou-san started to rubbed on me ? I don’t know.
His frown grow deeper at that.
October 18, 2007
Dear journal, I wanted to get out of that place ! There’s no other reason for me to stay at Jimusho. Yamada-kun, along with Hey! Say! JUMP will be debuted soon. They’re filming their first PV right now. And it pissed me of ! Yamada-kun had started to make rift between us. We rarely greet each other again right now, and it hurts me. But as much as I wanted to hate him, I can’t. I guess I grew too fond with him already… If only I let Otou-san stabbed me that time, than maybe I won’t feel this kind of jealousy.
A tear and a pang in the heart. Ryosuke could feel the loneliness that Kite-kun felt.
November 14, 2007
That’s it. Their new official PV released today. And I will officially resigned from this place. I don’t care anymore. I couldn’t even felt the pain when my father abused me a moments ago. My life is end here. And all because of him…
More tears fell.
“I’m sorry…” Ryosuke could only mumble to himself as he open the last entry.
November 22, 2007
I’ve decided. My life was no longer has a mean. I could no longer pursue my dream. Okaa-san was no longer here. Otou-san didn’t love me anymore. And Onee-san was rarely home for me either. I’ll just end this meaningless life of mine. No one will even felt sad about my lost anyway. Maybe I’ll burn the house for a little revenge as well ? Who knows.
And after that, there was no other entries written. Only a few rips from the paper. Perhaps used to wrote Kite-kun’s last words. After reading the last entry, Ryosuke started to sob loudly. He couldn’t helped but shuddered at the heartless words written on the paper.
“Kite-kun must had been so depressed. If only I was more aware of his presence, than perhaps his life wouldn’t ended that way.” He whispers between his sobs. “It was my fault…” And he continues crying until his eyes were red and puffy. And his nose is stuffy. Too exhausted after the cry, he fell asleep at the couch.
“Sleep well, Yamada-kun.”
~~~~~tbc
woow.. i got spooked just by writing this out~
ohh, comments are LUV okay~
^o^
